Throughout the course of the second half of our semester, we were focused on readings which contained peer profiling on certain obsessions of numerous different people ranging from artists to mathematicians. Unlike some of our few technical readings where we require some sort of prior understanding regarding certain topics, this essay is going to explore a “not so technical” obsession that my peer, Marleny Javier has. At 5 ‘1 with tanned skin, chocolate-blonde hair, styled downwards or in a clip, and an aesthetic primarily determined by mood, Marleny’s obsession stems from a variety of different aspects of her life. She seems to really like tight tops and baggy bottoms. Jewelry such as earrings, rings and bracelets are her favorites. She tends to wear sambas of no particular color. Her obsession with buying the “wants” and the “needs” elevates the way one might think about shopping. H&M, one of her favorite places to shop, not only captures the complex personality that she possesses, but also reveals the broad consumer culture of modern society. Marleny’s obsession with shopping comes with a variety of challenges that not only affects her emotionally, but also somewhat financially. 

Marleny is a billing coordinator assistant near downtown by 47th street Rockefeler center. She works at an extremely busy and crowded commercial street near 5th avenue where shopping stores and tourists are in abundance. Growing up in the Bronx in a Mexican family, Marleny studied at a private all girls Catholic school where the location was also surrounded by numerous shopping centers which was one of the primary factors of her obsession. She speaks 3 languages, English, Spanish and American Sign Language. Her father works at “Elgin,” a restaurant, as a chef while her mother works in the same office as she does, as an “organizer of patients’ insurance claims.” 

The H&M at 5th Avenue, a lavish five story building with specific floors tailored to specific tastes, serves as the main gateway to her obsession. The first floor contains the men’s section where a “dark mannish” aesthetic can be seen compared to that of the second floor where women’s section reside. The aesthetic here is the complete opposite; a very bright, white color with a touch of beige and black where the walls seem to be made of marble with a very luxurious look. The organization of everything is phenomenal. A business & casual floor can be spotted on the third floor where office professional and essential clothings are sold and is the key to Marleny’s obsession; sales section. The third floor also seems to contain a teenager wardrobe which features crop tops, tight tops, jeans etc as well as street wear. Up a level, home decorations can be found while on the 5th floor, we can find a children’s section divided into 3 categories; girls, boys and babies. Marleny’s obsession lies within the sales section. She describes the rush that she feels of finding “hidden gems” which are shirts that are marked from fifty dollars to just a couple of dollars. “The first thing I go to in the store is the sales. It feels like a crime to miss out on those deals.”

Marleny’s obsession brings a very distinct emotional challenge for her where both happiness and stress reside simultaneously. She calls herself very indecisive as she frequently struggles to make or stick with certain decisions while shopping. The indecision, as she describes, is what really lengthens a few minutes of shopping experience into an hour long one. A child cardigan, that she adored and ultimately bought, was one of the moments where she thought it was impractical to buy. Since it was so cheap, the impracticality of the purchase seemed to completely disappear. This truly feels like the indecisiveness she was discussing in our interview. While I believe Marleny’s decision was very practical and possibly a good buy considering the price, the indecisiveness that she spoke about in our interview persists. This moment exposes us to an “inner conflict” that shopping brings out of her where this craving of having a good sale kind of collides, or even overpowers the logical practicality. 

Marleny’s inner conflict is more than just having a good sale in contrast to the logical practicality, it is also about the two colliding emotions; happiness and stress. According to the study, “A review of Compulsive Buying Disorder,” by Donald W. Black, reveals that many of the individuals that have an obsession with shopping, possess this inner conflict and is a common side effect of compulsive buying disorder. According to Black, shopping can serve as a temporary mood enhancer similar to eating your favorite food which Marleny mentioned in our interview. When asked about similar things that produce the same emotions as shopping does, the first thing she mentioned was food. “Eating makes me happy, like the process of finding good food is stressful because I don’t know if it’s going to be good or not, like when I go to a few places. I don’t know if it’s going to be good or not and then overall, it’s happiness because I’m eating, supposedly,” she exclaimed. While the study showcases severe cases of the compulsive buying disorder, Marleny’s obsession does not seem to be severe, however, her experiences mirror the same “inner conflict” portrayed. Guilt and financial strain is also something Marleny mentions as the consequences of her obsession. She also told me about how her obsession is really “stressful but happy” which makes me think that it is not just an obsession where she continues buying in an “autopilot mode,” but it’s more tailored towards a deep significance with logic and emotion where finding sales makes her happy while certain times makes her feel stressed. It seems though there is this complex coping mechanism being developed, where ultimate purchase compensates for the stress during buying. Her shopping is more than just self expression; it is a calculated process where two complex emotions reside simultaneously and it shows the idea of consumerism where self expression and emotions are involved. The study on “Compulsive Buying Behavior: Clinical Comparison with Other Behavioral Addictions,” by Muller et al., further expresses the way individuals have similar coping mechanisms between compulsive buying disorder and that of other addictions. Numerous aspects of our childhood shapes who we are now and Marleny is no different. One of the most interesting parts of the interview was when I asked Marleny about her childhood as it played a very important role in how her shopping habits have developed. She used to play with dolls, dressing them up and also dream of having American jeans. These might only be another of those nostalgic moments for me and you, but for her, it is something that shaped her life and her obsession. This shaping of adulthood from childhood is heavily emphasized by Muller et al., where they emphasize on childhood influences shaping their consumer habits.

Marleny’s shopping obsession does not just stay within the parameters of herself, but they are also shared with her friends; a bonding experience that she hints as “obligatory” since all her friends are women. When asked about if she thinks societal expectations of women have an influence on her obsession, she said that societal standards definitely have a huge influence on her shopping obsession and, “Girls that are trying to fit in. Like, for me, when I went to high school, it was basically a competition of who had the nicer nails and cute nails. So, that’s where. Yeah. So, it is kind of like beauty standards because, again, a lot of girls there used to compete with who looks the prettiest, most of the time.” While not necessarily an example of a direct way of societal standard influence, it does have an indirect effect as women are “bound” to compete in order to conform with standards. Further influences include social media where advertisements and online shopping is right at her fingertips.

While the challenges Marleny faces are mostly emotional, her familial problems seem to be an issue as well where her mother does not usually find it very appealing for her daughter to buy new clothes every single occasion; highlighting that it is a “waste” of money. There are a few more challenges she seems to face, one of them being paranoid regarding her shipping address and lost packages especially during online shopping. She reports little to no issue of this aspect while in person shopping. Even though these challenges might discourage someone from pursuing this obsession, Marleny seems to be resilient. It is a self investment that she loves and she has no regrets about it. Self expression, confidence and self esteem is what drives her to pursue this obsession. An outfit that she loves to wear makes her feel empowered and confident where every purchase made is her making her own unique self. 

Marleny’s obsession isn’t just an obsession, it is a passion that she follows where her navigation in shopping and her thoughtful approach to clothing styles reveal a complex personality that she possesses which cannot be really described in words; you have to experience it. She uses her obsession as a way to self express and cope with stress. Despite her challenges, she stays resilient and the creativity that she possesses can be seen in her clothing style. Even though shopping may seem like a form of passing time, she uses it to bring out the artistic nature that she has. I have never been really attracted to the idea of shopping, in fact I barely go shopping, but exploring her obsession and understanding it from an open mind, gave me a way to appreciate and understand the complex emotional and logical intelligence required for this obsession. It is not just about the sale, it is also about navigating a world that requires you to conform to a specific standard while maintaining composure as well as forming connections along the way. This was truly an obsession worth researching about.

Works Cited:

Black, Donald W. “A Review of Compulsive Buying Disorder.” World Psychiatry : Official Journal of the World Psychiatric Association (WPA), U.S. National Library of Medicine, Feb. 2007, pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1805733/.

This research paper talks about a disorder known as a compulsive buying disorder where they explore the different behaviors and patterns that people with this disorder have. I chose this because I wanted to analyze my partner’s obsession from a more psychological standpoint where their surroundings, and possibly their childhood play an important role in this obsession.

Granero, Roser, et al. “Compulsive Buying Behavior: Clinical Comparison with Other Behavioral Addictions.” Frontiers, Frontiers, 2 June 2016, www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00914/full.

This research paper analyzes the effects of childhood experiences in the development of this disorder. I wanted to keep this as a supporting paper where it not only expands certain aspects from the first article, but also develops some new insights. It also provides insights on how this disorder might be similar to other addictions or things that provoke the same chemical response as this disorder does.